I didn’t intend to take over a month off from Substack.
But I also didn’t intend to be responding to a twice-flooded apartment, random ailments, and endless mental and logistical chaos that made opening up a blank document and writing feel very out of reach. 🙃🫠
All of that coupled with melty summer brain means stepping away from the page is not only okay but probably necessary.
August was very much a month of hitting the reset button on everything—from tending to my mental and emotional landscape and decluttering my apartment to exploring what a new business venture could look like and reorienting the pieces of my “career and creativity puzzle” (including a potential rebrand?).
This season—this summer, this year—has felt really itchy. I’ve got a million tabs open, both literally and figuratively, and I’m deep into each of their respective rabbit holes and not able to close out any just yet.
I can’t tell you how many of those tabs included Google Flights to just about everywhere because ya girl wants nothing more than the novelty, clarity, and reinvigoration that comes from a trip.
Speaking of travel, I recently contributed to a post by Amelia of on how to navigate jet lag and the post-vacation blues! I felt honored to be among a few other really fantastic travelers and am bookmarking all of the tips for my next adventure. I love the Substack community and would love to do more collaborations like this!
I’m not entirely sure if I am “back” to regular programming on ye olde Substack, but in the meantime, I really wanted to pop in and share what I’m thinking about and exploring in real time this season.
Planning and sewing outfits for future fun
I’ve got a few exciting events this fall that I want to make some outfits for, including a sewing meet-up at the local Renaissance Faire, the JASNA conference in Cleveland, a bachelorette party, and a wedding.
Because I am who I am, this has meant hours of poring over online fabric stores and still not quite finding the “one” for the wedding look (oh the irony), but I have made some progress on the costume front!
For the Ren Faire, I just finished making my very first corset (I went with the Viki Sews Tally Bustier) to wear over a chemise (I’m halfway through making Tilly and the Button’s Mabel dress) and a basic gathered rectangle split skirt. I’ll probably add a flower crown and a leather belt/pouch to finish off the look. Shockingly, I’ve never been to the Ren Faire before, but it feels awesome to be able to go in style.
For the JASNA ball, I am opting for more of a Bridgerton vibe and I’m thinking of going with a peacock-inspired look. Dark teal taffeta with gold trim, long opera gloves, and maybe even a peacock feather in my hair…TBD.
In the past four years I’ve been sewing garments, I’ve never been much of a costume sewist—I prefer to make things I’m going to wear in my everyday life and not just once—but I’ve really enjoyed having some special occasion pieces to show off and feel amazing in!
Piecing together a “portfolio career”
As someone who has had some pretty significant career shifts over the years—high school English teacher, start-up marketer, full-time business owner, going back to a full-time job while coaching, then taking a business sabbatical—with various creative projects over the past twelve years, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want my career to look and feel like.
I plan to write a whole post (or a series) on this over time, but I’ve been really interested in the idea of a “portfolio career”—pursuing multiple passions, interests and types of work that ebb and flow as you evolve.
As someone who actually really enjoys her full-time job (something I never thought I’d say after pursuing entrepreneurship!) but still really wants to create something else (or multiple something elses) for herself and has the space and flexibility to do so, I organically have felt myself drawn to this path already, but it’s nice to see this set-up explicitly named and talked about among other creatives.
has been sharing some incredibly insightful data and insights around this topic here on Substack if you’re curious about what this could look like for you:
Reflecting on the two-year mark since my cancer diagnosis
Similar to when I turned 34 back in July, reaching the next big cancer milestone has brought up a lot of confronting feelings. I marked the occasion by rereading my Morning Pages, the pile of supportive cards and notes people sent me throughout my treatment, and all of my GoFundMe updates, and having a big cry.
A lot has happened in two years—two breast surgeries, egg freezing, chemo while cold capping, radiation, port removal surgery, two European trips, fat grafting surgery, POTS symptoms, new Substack, current silent reflux issues—so much so that it feels like how has it only been two years?! When I look at it from that lens, it’s actually incredible what I have been able to do and experience despite all of that and, like, no wonder I’m not perfectly healed and thriving, even though I haven’t been in active treatment for over a year now?
And yet, the mental and emotional anguish feels so scarily similar, even though the acute medical situation is over. The contrast hasn’t been great enough to feel a difference, to know that I am in a new chapter of life—despite my best efforts, it still feels like a continuation of the really hard season that is/was cancer.
I had a tarot and astrology reading the other day that was incredibly illuminating and validated why this groundhog’s season has felt so. damn. hard. for me. This is about so much more than just finding a new place to live or “turning over a new leaf” for me and that’s why it feels so big. The reading highlighted the push pull I feel between desperately wanting things to change—of my own volition this time, not thrust upon me—and yet clinging to security after such a tumultuous time. And it made space for the endless buckets of grief for being in that in-between in the first place.
I really look forward to the day when I can share from a place of abundance, excitement, and right-ness—right now, it feels a lot like I’ve choked down a dreadful bottle of Skele-gro and am currently watching my entire bone structure regrow from the inside out. Painful but necessary.
Always love reading your posts! A twice flooded bathroom would have me spiraling 🙃 I can relate to just wanting to plan a trip somewhere and just get away. I have dreams to travel more, but the 'where do I go, how do I get there, where do I stay' logistics always get overwhelming haha.
What you said about wanting to be able to share from a place of abundance and excitement reminded me of an astrology reading I had done where the astrologer said if I had more Libra placements, she'd tell me to write about how wonderful life is, but alas I do not have any Libra placements and instead I must write about the depths of life that no one ever wants to talk about lol. So I appreciate you talking about the depths of life!
Marissa, your creativity and resourcefulness are shining through even in the midst of chaos! Sewing your own outfits for the Ren Faire and the JASNA conference? That's not just impressive, it's downright inspiring. I can practically see you rocking that corset and chemise like a Renaissance queen and channeling your inner Bridgerton belle at the ball. And the fact that you're exploring a new business venture and contemplating a rebrand? Talk about turning lemons into lemonade! I'm so excited to see what you create in this next chapter.