How to set the stage for what's next

What a delightful 🇫🇷 phrase has to do with waiting for change

Maybe this is an American thing, or a Millennial thing, or just a me thing, but the moment I learned the French phrase “mise en place”—and its film studies equivalent “mise en scene”—I felt instantly more sophisticated, intellectual, and inspired, and as such, I never pass up a chance to use it. 💁🏻‍♀️

Mise en place is the act of “putting things in place.” Preparing the kitchen for cooking a meal, setting the stage for a play to begin, arranging the room for a party—the phrase has many appropriate applications, which is partially why it’s so delightful to use.

There is something deeply satisfying about having all of the ingredients prepped and chopped, the “trash” bowl waiting on the countertop, the dish rag draped on the shoulder, the right playlist to set the tone—and, for me, the fancy drink or snack in hand to keep hanger at bay—that makes for an efficient and pleasant culinary experience. It makes everything go much smoother and faster and minimizes the clean-up that comes after.

And yet, how often do we actually take the time to wash and prep all of the ingredients ahead of time? How often do we lay out all of the tools we need or put on an apron to protect our clothes or, maybe most importantly, make sure we’re feeling nourished enough to actually enjoy the act of making a meal for ourselves?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t often take the time to do this. Or at least not all of these things. In all honesty, it’s not always necessary. In the end, whether you were furiously chopping veggies while sauteing the meat and realizing too late you forgot to preheat the oven or you were calmly making a roux with your pre-measured ingredients, you’re probably fed and you’re moving on to the Netflix portion of your evening.

But what about those seasons in life—the ones after a big change but before you know what you’re doing next? The ones where maybe you’re still healing from what just happened, taking stock of your life, and skeptical of the future? The ones where you’re simultaneously eager for the next phase when things start to make sense again and you feel excited and energized about what you’re doing?

The desire to rush through this stage is so real–of course we want answers and we want them now! As solutions-oriented people, when clarity doesn’t come easily or we aren’t where we want to be despite our best efforts, it can feel immobilizing, frustrating, or even disheartening.

This is when we can turn to mise en place to remind us of the control we do have and to set ourselves up to actually be able to receive and participate in what’s to come.

I started listening to the audiobook of Tosha Silver’s Change Me Prayers the other day¹ and in Chapter 1, she says this about mise en place:

If you’ve ever read my work, you know by now that I consider almost nothing random.

If I’m cradling a question in my heart, to be shown the right direction I pay intense attention to the answers that come, no matter what delivery service God may use. License plates, billboards, songs on the radio, comments from strangers, all become grist for my own spiritual mill.

So my ears perked up like a Labrador one time when a stately, white-haired Frenchman turned to me in the produce aisle of the grocery store and exclaimed, “Mise en place, it’s ALL about mise en place, n’est-ce pas? It’s the consummate key!”

I nodded and thanked him, though I had no idea what the hell he was talking about. I made a note to check when I got home, but if you’re a cook, you may already know.

I discovered mise en place is a French phrase for prepping all the ingredients for a meal: getting everything washed, chopped, and in order. Some people would even include cleaning and readying the kitchen. That way, when it’s time, you can cook with abandon.

Well, I couldn’t think of a better message. I could feel in my bones that a big wave of new life was lurking right around the bend.

So get ready! Clean out the closets, finish up loose ends, get rid of what needs to go. Create a vacuum for the New to fill. Release dead weight, old destructive habits, exhausting relationships. Pick a few items off the procrastination list and whisk them away.

And if the Divine wants to make a delicious meal out of you, well, you’ll be prepared.

To my delight, I realized this is exactly what I’ve been doing these past few months! I recently wrote about being in my “unsexy season” of taking small, incremental steps without knowing exactly where I was going or if I was making legitimate progress.

I'm bringing unsexy back. Yeah.

I’ve asked the questions: Who am I now? What do I really want? Where do I go from here? And while I don’t have those answers, necessarily, I, like Tosha, have been busy “putting things in place” so that I am prepared to receive those answers and step into what’s ahead.

In the space between everything I’ve just endured and this next big chapter of my life, I’m plugging energy leaks, purging physical and mental clutter, training and tending to my body, cultivating new habits, evaluating relationships and how I want to show up in them, and clearing the deck.

What does this look like in practice?

It’s been mostly an intuitive process—and likely, you have your own that you naturally gravitate towards—but sometimes it can be helpful to turn to a list of ways we can be productive and intentional with our time and energy. These things seem so basic, but the compounding effect they can have is immensely energizing and hopeful.

Keep in mind: while I have done many of these things, I’ve not done them all or all at one time. This is merely a list of potential ideas and examples for putting things in place.

How to “mise en place” your life and set the stage for what’s next

Revisit the basics

Far too often, momentum can come simply from going back to the basics and taking really good care of yourself. Some might even call it “reparenting your inner child.”

On a physical level, this means giving yourself an actual bedtime, prioritizing quality sleep, staying hydrated, eating more protein, incorporating more movement, and tending to what your body needs most. For me, this has meant introducing regular strength training, using a new walking pad for the winter months (GAME CHANGER), and taking supplements for quality sleep.

Similarly, go back to the basics with your inner world, excavating any old habits, beliefs, and blocks that are no longer creating the experience of life you want to have. This can be particularly challenging when you’re not even entirely sure you believe things will be different for you. But, if you put in the reps, you might surprise even yourself.

In the past, starting an Evidence Log for how the universe has been showing up for me has really helped shift my perspective to one of abundance and hope, as well as working with a therapist to process and feel. Recently, I’ve been leaning into affirmations, working with a coach, and continuing to write my Morning Pages.

Break the matrix

I’m sure you’re familiar with the phrase: “What got you here won’t get you there.” When you reach a point where what has worked in the past isn’t working anymore, it’s time to change things up. But what happens when you’re not sure what changes to make just yet?

One of the best hacks for breaking free from monotony, uncertainty, burnout, and dissatisfaction is by breaking the matrix—disrupting everyday patterns and habits and mixing things up. This can be as simple as choosing to take a different route on your walk, taking yourself out for a solo date somewhere new, saying hello to a stranger, working from an unexpected location, or trying a new form of exercise.

This has been especially powerful for me in reprogramming my brain after cancer treatment (and the pandemic) to feel a lot less insular and limited and gives my Generator brain plenty of stimuli to respond to, which is excellent for creativity and direction.

Declutter your space

You don’t have to wait until spring to clean out your closets. I spent the latter half of my holiday break getting rid of stuff in my local Buy Nothing Facebook group, organizing long-neglected areas of my apartment (like my toolbox and the millions of extra IKEA parts I had lying around), donating clothes that no longer fit, tossing expired pantry items, etc.

While I don’t yet have plans to move, I have had this feeling that I won’t be in my current apartment for the long-term, so it feels right to be clearing space for my future self.

Plug energetic leaks

Maybe it’s the new year energy; maybe it’s the fact that I’ve just gone through so much hardship this past year and a half—regardless, I’ve definitely reached my limit for things I’m tolerating in my life and taking the time now to address them and move on. Certainly I have some relational tolerance that I’m addressing over time, but I’m talking more about the smaller, more insidious stuff that can pile up fairly easily and contribute to an overall sense of dissatisfaction.

For me, this has meant getting a referral for an ENT because I’m pretty sure I have a deviated septum, getting a consultation for Invisalign, and researching classes and activities to meet new people. Even if I can’t fully address them at once, just starting the process and planting seeds feels way better.

Snip lingering financial ties

Like many single millennials, I’ve been on my parents’ cell phone plan forever—until now. I finally signed up for Visible, which is actually saving us both money, and now I don’t have to hear about how much data I’ve used from my dear dad. I’ve been closing out the financial tabs with my parents over the past several years between various loans and it feels really good to be in this place.

Set up containers for new habits and practices

If you were to fill in the blank “I want to be the kind of person who _____” with something you genuinely want for your life (not a should, but a genuine desire), what would you say? For me, I want to be the kind of person who has a regular writing and publishing practice, especially after taking a business sabbatical and finally being in a place to reevaluate what I want to do creatively.

So, if I wanted to be this person, I had to, you know…write. 😅 At the recommendation of my dear friend Michelle, I joined London Writers’ Hour and started my Substack. These containers add a layer of accountability and make it easier to commit to taking the time and space to do the things I want to do more of. The key element of these containers is that there were no rules beyond simply showing up to them.

Other ways to “mise en place”

This isn’t an exhaustive list, but here are a few more ideas for putting things in place in the season of “in between:”

• Put something fun on the calendar to look forward to (I’ve got Justin Timberlake tickets for late June in Boston with my friend Amanda!)

• Learn something new or try a new hobby without the pressure of turning it into a business or knowing where it will lead

• Complete a personal challenge and track your progress, both qualitative and quantitative

• Romanticize your life

• Reconnect with old friends and acquaintances

  

When you’re in a season of “in between,” you experience the best and the worst of both worlds— the promise of change and the uncertainty that comes with that, the hope for what could be possible and the fear of what that might mean for you.

In a weird way, knowing that change is ahead takes the pressure off—if change is inevitable, if clarity IS inevitable, you don’t have to force it. It will come. And sometimes, leaning into that relief and trust is easier said than done. In those moments, our job is simple: mise en place. Put things into place.

I’ll close with the prayer Tosha Silver shared about mise en place:

Change me Divine Beloved into One who easily releases all that’s ready to go, making room for what wants to come. May I courageously release all that is outgrown and stagnant, preparing for the new. Let me move in harmony with Your natural cycles in every way.

1. Did you know that Spotify Premium now includes a ton of excellent audiobooks? You can listen along here, if you’d like.

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